Moronic Man United supporter actually believes they’ll sign Kane 

A Manchester United fan has admitted to believing the obviously bullshit transfer rumours that Harry Kane will ‘probably’ sign for the club in “maybe the next transfer window or perhaps the one after that”. 

Gaz, a diehard Mancunian from Southend-on-Sea, was delighted to learn in the weekend’s Metro that Harry Kane was ON THE BRINK of signing for his beloved club. 

“Obviously it was pretty gutting when we missed out on Neymar and Bale this summer so it’ll be a real signal of intent when we do eventually sign him”.

And with the opportunity to play glamorous Europa League ties alongside the outstanding quality of Matteo Darmian, Ashley Young and Memphis Depay, who would blame him for having his head turned… Even if the Louis van Gaal glory days are now sadly over.

Written by Joe Thomas

Read: Academic research proves Sol Campbell’s ‘a twat’

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